He Confessed That Last Night’s Fight With Wife Was His Fault.

He Confessed That Last Night’s Fight With Wife Was His Fault.

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean, and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner’s from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

Image result for Hilarious Fight With Wife

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

Image result for Fight With Wife

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Image result for Fight With Wife

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said… ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ So I suggested the kitchen.

Image result for Fight With Wife

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Image result for Fight with wife

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.

Image result for Fight with wife

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’

Image result for Fight with wife

8. She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

Image result for Fight with wife

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’

Image result for Fight with wife10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

Image result for Fight with wife

 

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

Image result for Fight with wife

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’

Can’t you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start with a four letter word… It was just clean and simple fun.

admin

leave a comment

Create Account



Log In Your Account